Kay Young Superior, CO, US
Think and Grow Rich Chapter 11
The Mystery of Sex Transmutation (Emotional Energy)
“Where love, romance and the proper understanding of the emotion and function of sex abide, there is no disharmony between married people.
When motivated by this holy triumvirate, no form of labor is burdensome, because even the most lowly form of effort takes on the nature of a labor of love.” Napoleon Hill
In a study in 2012 by O’Leary, Acevedo, Aron, Huddy & Mashek, we learn some keys to what works in long term marriages that consider themselves to be “Very Intensely in Love” These are related in the following article by Ph D Theresa E. DiDonato.
“O’Leary and colleagues explored the basic prevalence rates of intense, romantic love—and then tried to figure out what predicts it.
As it happens, Cupid is very active in the United States. More than any other response, the first sample surveyed chose to report that they were “Very Intensely in Love” with their partners, amounting to about half of both the men and the women sampled. While relationships less than 10 years old were apt to report a great deal of intense love, so too did couples whose relationship had already lasted 20 to 30 years or more. Couples who had been together for 10 to 20 years reported slightly less intense feelings of love than “newlyweds,” but still claimed to feel quite a bit of romantic love for their partners. In the New York-only sample, intensity was highest for people in newer relationships, but it was still going strong in longer relationships.
The takeaway? Romantic love is more common than people tend to think, and it certainly doesn’t need to end once a relationship enters its mature years.
Once they'd established that romantic love exists in long-term relationships, the researchers then asked the question: What behaviors and beliefs tended to correspond with romantic love? They examined a variety of potential predictors but three straightforward habits emerged as significant correlates.
What predicted romantic love for both men and women across both samples?
Thinking positively about one’s partner.
Thinking about one’s partner when not with that person.
Having an affectionate relationship (hugging, kissing, holding hands)."
As for myself, as one who has been fortunate to be married for 53 ½ years, these 3 items are accurate and can only be compounded by one more key factor, in my opinion, and that is kindness. Combine kindness with a great deal of inner personal work, including forgiveness of yourself and your partner at times. As we continue in these later years to appreciate the little kindnesses done for us by each other, we stay anxious to be together and share our zest for life and our relationship on a daily basis.
If we can feel like the day we met our partner every day, then that zest for life inspires us to success in monetary activities and in everything else that we do.
Thanks again Linda and Michael for another week of inner contemplation. Thanks for all of you on the calls...you inspire me.