Cory Layne East Millinocket, ME, United States
Reading this chapter, on auto-suggestion or self-talk, I was reminded of a time when my son was maybe six. I don't recall what we were doing at the time, but I screwed something up and called myself "stupid." He immediately jumped in front of me and yelled, "DON'T SAY THAT!" I looked perplexed and said, "Say what?" He told me, "Don't ever call yourself stupid. You aren't stupid, you're smart." It must have been something he'd learned at Montessori school. But it made sense to me at the time. I had always made a habit of giving him positive feedback and avoiding the negativity of my parents, and I started to be more careful, at least when I was around him, to speak positively about myself as well.
Yesterday, I took an assessment of my curernt self-talk. I live alone, so I talk to myself a lot--often out loud. When I made a concerted effort to listen to what I was telling myself, I was amazed at the number of times a day I call myself "stupid" or "idiot" or "clumsy" when I drop something, scrape a knuckle, or mess something up. All of which happens a lot lately as I am rehabbing an old house and am learning how to do-it-myself as I go along. This past week or so, intermittantly along with other as yet unfinished projects, I've been demolishing the bathroom and struggled with removing the window trim without damaging it, the window frame, and the plaster-and-lathe exterior wall down to the studs. Needless to say, I'm wearing a few band-aids.
Now I know I am not stupid, certainly not an idiot, clumsy only when I'm not paying attention, but that's what I've been telling myself. I've also used words like lazy, incompetent, disorganized and other negative terms. Then I wonder why I never seem to get anything done and jump from one project to another at random.
So, I wrote down a dozen or so positive affirmations to overcome the negative:
"I'm making progress every day."
"I see the house restored to its former glory."
"I'm learning new skills and saving money."
"The house looks better already and I'm proud of my work."
"This bathroom is going to look great when I'm done."
Today when the pry bar slipped and I banged my knuckles again, instead of saying, "Okay, stupid, why aren't you wearing your gloves?", I said, "Let's try that again with gloves this time," and put on my leather gloves which I had dropped in the hallway when I took a load of trash downstairs and forgot to put back on when I came up. I went back to work fully expecting to get the job done at last and finally got the window disassembled and the open wall cleaned up. Now all I need to do is reframe it and install the smaller window I have purchased, install insulation (there was NONE and this is Maine for crying out loud!) and new ceiling and wallboard in preparation for tiling.
I've also come up with a number of positive affirmations regarding building my network marketing business and shortened my Chapter 4 Statement of Purpose to a single sentence more along the lines of Michael's and Bob's that I can repeat throughout the day.
"I am having fun easily attracting people with 99.9% WHYs into my business through education and teamwork."
"I'm meeting new people every day who need and WANT my help in building their businesses."
"Friendly people are coming to me and asking me to mentor them."
"My help is valuable to the people I mentor."
"I am influencing positive changes to the lives of other people."
"I am improving the world by helping one person at a time become a self-owner."
Thanks Michael, Bob, and everybody at MFF for coming into my life at the right time. Let's each bring new people into MFF and enrich more lives.
Joy and abundance,
East Millinocket, Maine, America