Kay Young Superior, CO, US
For many years, I have analyzed myself and am grateful for this chapter, which paints such a complete picture of the many ways in which we can and do sabatoge ourselves. As many of us may find, I have gone through the path of the six basic fears though somewhat less the negative thoughts due to a rather optimistic nature and a strong faith in divine guidance.
Most likely, the earlier causes have been related to what people think of me. About 8 years ago, I was suddenly tossed back into my earliest vocation of teaching. All teachers and administrators in the school, except the secetary at the front desk in the office, were of a differnet political party than myself. I never talked abou politics, partially because I didn't want to argue and partially because I wasn't even sure I was well versed enough that I could back up an argument in the first place. One morning a cafeteria worker, after learning about the secretary's political views, stomped out of the office with a resolve to shun her from that day. The high rage of animosity was & is frightening. I got a reprimand for having a unit about patriotic songs on 9-11 because many parents didn't want their children to even know that had happened and didn't want them to be aware of any attack on our shores. Each Christmas (or Winter Break...as it is now called) I taught 1 song from the musical text book about Christmas, one about Hannakah and one about Quanza, then had my elementary students carol to the middle school students. Though I allowed them to omit singing songs the didn't want to sing, some parent would always be offended, which also caused me a reprimand. I laid low much of the time after that.
There have also been years of financial swings that have caused great physical anxiety when money was scarce and signs of extravagance when it was abundant. This winding path of an entrapreneural family has been a huge blessing and a lesson. Most likely Hill's theories were working fully in our family, and looking back things are more clear. The blessing was learning what things mattered most. Sometimes, when there was less money, there was more awareness of our other sources of abundance.
Over the years, my fears have lessened with experience, personal growth and a more focused effort. I actually felt pretty good doing Hill's survey, though clearly remembering years when some fears that I have now mastered were prevalent for me.
Certainly, there are still issues, but I have felt confidence in having overcome a 2 year bout of chronic fatigue, though it caused me to close my business of 20 years. The cause for some triumph is that I could see that doctors didn't know what to do about my problem, so I found 2 credible natural practitioners who gave me input and then I used critical thinking, intuition and praye to determine my own treatment and became well with no side effects. It was very humbling and strengthening.
Though there is still much to improve, I finally have the courage to speak my truths when there is value for someone or myself and to hold them back when the environment suggests wisdom in doing so. The excuses of the past are no longer as strong as they use to be and there is great freedom in letting go of them.