Mary Mirembe TORONTO, Ontario, Canada
CHAPTER 15 - THE SIX GHOSTS OF FEAR
In taking inventory of myself and looking closely at the six basic fears, I realized that the fear of criticism is engraved deep in my subconscious mind. Hill tells us that no one knows for sure how man originally came by this fear "but one thing is certain - he has it in a highly developed form".
Criticism is a universal but painful experience. Being criticized may trigger fear, shame, anger, stress, aggression. Hill writes "The fear of criticism robs man of his initiative, destroys his power of imagination, limits his individuality, takes away his self-reliance, and does him damage in a hundred other ways". Yet it is criticism that everyone has too much of in stock!
Criticism will plant fear in the human heart, or resentment, but it will not build love or affection. Winston Churchill likened criticism to pain in the human body - an unpleasant experience that is necessary for growth and learning.
Dealing with criticism can be difficult but we should not allow other people's opinion to detract us from our intended actions, goals and objectives. To quote Bob Shoaf in his Lesson Plan this week "It is none of my business what others think of me. The only thing that matters is what I think of myself".
It is advisable and sometimes necessary to learn how to understand the intentions of the people you deal with. There are two main types of criticism: constructive criticism and destructive criticism. The difference between the two types of criticism lies in the way in which comments are delivered.
Although both forms of criticism challenge your ideas, character or ability, when someone is giving destructive criticism it can hurt your pride and have negative effects on your self-esteem and confidence. Destructive criticism is often thoughtlessness by another person but it can also be deliberately malicious and hurtful.
Constructive criticism, on the other hand, is designed to point out your mistakes and show you also where and how improvements can be made. Contructive
criticism should therefore be viewed as a useful tool for positive feedback that can help you improve yourself rather than put you down.
When criticism is contructive it is usually easier to accept, even if it still hurts. In either scenario you should always remember that you can use criticism to your advantage.
A man who refuses to admit his mistakes can never be successful - Proverbs 28:13